....In Laura's Locket....: My Brother Luke

A Little boy,
My Big Brother,
a Very Lovely Chap,
a Brave Person.....

A Nerd, GeekChicGadgetBoy, 'Special' :-).....

TOTALL LEGEND

I hate computers!

I am trying to do some fancy things to my blog, like add some tabs and make it posh, but I cant find the buttons or knobs I need and I dont even know what most of these words mean that talk in computer jargon language like HTML- what the hell? And what the heck did I just press to minimise the screen and now everything is tiny and its making me whiney cos now its all too small and I cant see at all and I cant get it bigger again, and like I said I dont really know what im doing.

Like what is Earl, I mean URL which reminds me of My Name Is Earl which is quite funny, and he believes in karma which I think I do too, though not when I'm blue because then karma would mean that I deserve to feel the way I do, which is sometimes like poo, and I'm not sure if that's fair, though life isn't fair, but back to Earl his accents annoying and I am digressing....

The point I am stressing is that I'm trying to make a blog that is good and more easily understood with a few little links to tidy it up so that things can make sense and it would look pretty good. And its annoying because i know in my head exactly what I mean and I've tried reading how to do it but my brain is too foggy to read so havn't manage to grasp it and its getting quite frustrating, sitting at a PC when Im not that good with technology

But I do like writing and I am finding that typing is the best way I can write because my hand doesn't work when I'm holding the pen and my spellings so bad it probably wouldnt make sense, and the other annoying thing is that I have two cats who like to chase the arrow on the screen every time Im trying to read so they get in the way, so I cant see anyway, and then they step on the keyboard which really causes a delay and makes me shout things like Hey and Go Away but they just stay sitting on the keys and pretending they are cute, and type things i dont want to say, which could be quite funny and would be a hoot if only they didnt start meowing so i have to then get up and feed them, and I sit back down, with a frown, as by now ive forgotton what I was doing, and ive not got very far, and it is all seeming like too big a task to bother with anymore,.....

But i carry on as Im not a quitter so I sit back down and look at the monitor and then one of Bernie will claw at my leg and be climbing up my pyjama leg. And the other one of Bernie will be sitting on my head and I just end up thinking maybe I should just go to bed because I am in my pjs anyway, yes I always wear them, but to be fair I should be asleep now Im normally in bed by about 8, which isnt late at all, but if someone was to ask I might say I go at 11 or so, which would actually be a lie and I would probably just say that because it is a bit embarassing to admit that i am such a granny and barely out my teens, and I should be out doing things other people do but instead i am sat in my flat with a cat or two and faffing over ICT which is supposed to come easily to the youth of today and it doesnt to me, because I tend to overcomplicate things in my head or my brain cant quite process things together which means my brain is in a fog and I never get very far when it comes to improving my blog.

And basically what I am saying is that I wish I had studied better at ICT and maybe passed my GCSE for that particular subject as it would have come in useful at this particular moment. As would doing food technology or wordwork or something with a purpose because it would be nice to know how to cook a really good meal but I never really picked it up and since living alone ive had to find out how to change a light bulb and put up curtains and take down shelves and ive taken this upon my self because although i have spent 15 years or more in education, they did not educate me much about life or prepare me for this situation.

Yes I learnt to read and write and I learnt a bit of wrong from right and to be polite, how to do maths things and multply and work out pi and Pythagoras's sodding theorem, which i really cant remember now, and i have no idea how it would ever be useful to any human being ever, but whatever. Although saying that, i passed my maths GCSE but i worked bloody hard and I got a B, which I thought was good since I didnt have a clue, and am sure I am number dyslexic as I cant always tell 25 from 52 but again I am going off track and thats not what I was planning to do....

I was just going to say that Im not very good doing stuff thats all tech, but im trying to teach myself and not getting very far , Im not getting very far with what i am trying to do and it seems to be quite difficult and not soemthing that comes easily to me, not like my brother Luke, you see,,,,,,,....and oh for gawd sake its all frozen again and my screen has gone funny and my eyes are going runny and the words are blurry, so im stroking my cats because they are nice and soft and warm and comforting and furry. I love you Bert and Ernie.

Anyway what I was going to say is that my internets too slow and i cant make it go any quicker which is annoying, and what is flickr? and ive signed up on twitter but i dont get that either, and im struggling to make my blog look neater, not that it really matters at all but i am a perfectionist and i want my blog to be cool and words are seeming to rhyme in my head quite a lot this evening, and I wonder if this has any meaning to anyone, or if you think im completely insane, and Im not sure what is happening to my brain but it would be a lot better if I could just concentrate on the task in hand and then it probably wouldnt take so long and things might stop going wrong.

But it is seeming that I have once again gone off again on a tangent again which wasnt what this particular post is about, as i was hoping to write something about computers which leads me onto my favourite nerd, its quite absurd but he is geek chic and my brother Luke has some sense when it comes to computers and things that require some intelligence, and he is good for PC maintenance and could probably get me out of this sticky situation and maybe even say something nerdy about my rhyming infactuation.

I think that I need my brother Luke, hes a total geek, and not by fluke he is much cleverer than me you see and also much braver as he fights very hard, hes always in pain with athritis or something like that, the doctors arent sure, and hes only 22 but has a walking stick and cant run anymore but he is brave and he works in a shop which is more than i do and i am proud of him that he carries on even when things arenet easy. And i dont think he reads my blog or knows that it exists so he probably wont see this which is good because it would embarass him as I am his little sister skin and blister and he would probably just be like "What the hell is up with you Loz, why do you keep rhyming things?", he's very sarcastic and likes to be mean to me because that is how we show our love for eachother but deep down we care and love one another.....

Anyway what i was saying is that if my brother Luke was here, the cats would calm down and I'd have no fear, I could just chill out and have a beer because he is good on the computer and stuff and he could probably do what I am trying to do very easily and without any fuss and he would say that I am so silly for getting in a tiz when I should have just called him instead of writing this shiz at 2.15 in the morning whilst most people are snoring in dreams that are hazy, but no, my brain is going crazy and Im wide awake though my body is lazy even though my heads so quick but I cant just lay down and go to sleep I have to keep typing and all i can think about is doing some writing to offload my brain from all these thoughts which i am thinking too much about.

It would be good if I could say them out loud but I cant partly because I would only be talking to myself and its more effort than I can muster, and also because when I try to talk I get into a fluster, I mutter and stutter and the words come out wrong so Im just writing it down to calm it all down, and blimey this is getting long...

i do go on, Im very sorry, I drive myself barmy.

Had a good day at the Funny Farmy which I was thinking of shortening to 'TFF', for the sake of writing, or I did think its called 'Whitfields' so WTF, but then I think that to some people that means something different. Like what the Fudge or Friggin hell or what the Flamin nuggets....if you get my drift the word Im talking about begins with F and I dont want to write it incase innocent minds are reading and i might teach them bad language. Though to be honest I dont have an issue with swearing, I like to say 'fuck' from time to time but I am afraid my Mum might be reading and she may not share my feeling that its ok to be Efiin and Bleedin.

Fuck sake I have deterred again...and I also worried that if I shorten the word 'Whitfields' people will think well what is Whitfields? and then I would have to re-explain, and its a lot of effort to do that again, so i think I will stick with TFF, which officially stands for The Funny Farm. I wish my head would just be calm.

And if my brother Luke were here I am just saying that this dilemma would probably never have happened in the first place and right now I miss Luke Callaway's face, and it is weird that I am thinking this as he is probably not thinking of his sis. But thats just me, I think a lot, i think I might be losing the plot, so I'm going to go and have a cigarette and try and go to sleep, and come back in the morning when I have calmed down a little bit, and maybe I will call my bro and things can start to go to flow and my blog will be amazing. And I hope that it doesnt embarass you, Lukey, when you see that your sister is crazy, and sadly, ever nearing the fate of a Mad as a Hatter Cat Lady.