Unfortunately one of them did a massive wee in the bag and when we got home they were both soaking wet with wee...I ran a little bath for them and dipped them in and they didnt like that at all. My bathroom is very wet now and they are having a bit of a strop.
To be fair though I got in a strop with them yesterday when I was in bed and one of them clawed my face in the dark and I have a cut on my head and I got nose bleed. It realy scared me cos I couldnt see, it hurt and i shocked myself because I just shouted ow and then burst into tears, like a 5 year old does when they graze their knee. And then hid under my duvet and ignored them for a bit.
My legs caned last night even when I went to bed I am so achey. I couldnt get up this morning, I should have gone to The Funny Farm, but Im going to go tomorrow instead.
The Funny Farm (called Whitfields) is good...I think I am very lucky to have a place like this to go to. There are pigs and sheeps and goats, and people to hang out with for a while. Sometimes I plant some seeds and sometimes I do some pottery stuff. Once I made a fruit bowl from clay and I was very proud of it.
Pottery is actually quite hard....you have to get all the bubbles out the clay and smooth it out and then make your whatever you are making, make it and then it goes in the biscuit fire to get cooked, and then you sand it down a bit and paint it. you have to paint it 3 times so that there are enough layers. Then it goes in the oven again to be baked. My fruit bowl is green and yellow with lots of leaves coming out, and then little lady birds on the top. It took me months to do. Unfortunately it doesn't fit much fruit in it because it is a funny shape, and when Ernie was a baby he knocked it off the table and some of the leaves broke off.
We grow vegetables and things and you spend the day and then come home and feel that you have served a purpose in life. And its really pretty there, I love the animals. There are lots of beautiful flowers and some very nice trees too. Sometimes I like to take pictures of the colourful flowers, like these:
At The Funny Farm we used to have a big Pig called Rasher and he was very old. He departed this life and went to Piggy Heaven earlier this year and that was really sad, I liked Rasher the best and sometimes I liked to get in his little house with him and have a cuddle. But he was blind and very very fat and I dont think he really knew I was there. I think thats why I liked him so much.
Now at The Funny Farm we got some new baby piglets a few months ago. They are 4 girls called Rosie, Peggy, Babe and Ebony. I helped name Ebony because she is the blackest piglet. They are very cuddly and snorty and they like to chew your shoes and I dont have much velcro on my trainers anymore. But they are really big now even though they are babies, and they used to be so little. I tried to take some pictures but they move too much so I didnt really get a good one. Thats Peggy:
Anyway so The Funny Farm is very therepuetic and nice, and there are lots of lovely people there too. I hate it when I plan to go and then I cant get up and I find I am too exhausted to go and spend the day there. The girly goats are nice too, called Chloe and Amy and they like to have their hair brushed sometimes. I'm going to go tomorrow, and finish making whatever it was that I started making in Pottery, I cant remember now.
I have my appointment at the M.E clinic next week, which Ive waited abut 6 months for, so hoping they will be able to suggest ways to help me be more awake and less in pain. Some people say M.E is laziness disease, well I'd just like to say that you really dont have a clue and unless you are a doctor it is not your place to diagnose me as Lazy. I cant remember what M.E stand for but I do know it is a real thing and it does mean your life isnt how you want your life to be, because you cant do all the things you could do before. Sometimes I feel really horrible like having the flu but without the runny nose and everything is so hard, and a cup of tea feels too heavy to hold or my brain is confused and even writing is too hard and I cant hold the pen. I'm basically a granny.
I dont really say to anyone how much I ache and fuzzly my brain is and that I am exhausted, partly because I dont want to complain and mostly because Im scared they will tell me that Im just not trying very hard. And it looks like theres nothing wrong with me so they might not believe me. I get upset when sometimes I cant do what I am trying to do and if people say I should try harder.... no I dont just find it fun to make up symptoms and spend hours motionless in bed, awake but with my eyes closed because the light hurts my eyes. I am not lazy at all and I get very frustrated, I hate feeling like I do sometimes, and it isnt nice to feel like your body is gonna fall down after just popping to the shop.
I am the only one who knows how I feel. I like writing this blog because at least I get to explain it to myself a bit rather than just beat myself up about it. And by using words on a page is the only way I can explain it. I do get down sometimes when I feel that I am missing out on life, when I know my friends are at uni or working or partying on a Friday night and I am tucked up in bed and hurting all over. I do and I wish I could do cool stuff too. I cant wait til I am well enough to go to uni and go out on a Friday night without getting so nervous and my head worrying about every possible thing that could go wrong and feeling scared of talking to people and being worried that after 8pm I might just fall asleep and completely embarass myself.
But cant complain as things could be a lot lot worse and at least I have my kittens and I like art and writing, which you mostly get to sit down for. But I also love cycling and swimming and running and going out and going places, but these things are normally too difficult now....or if I do got for a bike ride I then ache for about 4 days afterwards or cant move the next day. But I do little bits at a time, and at least I have a comfy bed to take naps in. I saved up for it and its lush :)
Im glad to be home now, in my dressing gown once again, which is not too bad as its past 6 oclock and at least Ive been out today. I am achey and tired and too tired to write so i will be back tomorrow after Whitfield. I'd quite like to do some painting but depends if my brain is co-ordinating with my hand and if I can hold the paintbrush without my fingers going numb and my arm nearly falling off. Sometimes I have to glue it back on.
