My feelings change like the wind, and mostly I cant even tell them apart.
Hit an all time low last week. Didn’t go to college, didn’t get out of bed for 3 days, didn’t eat. Stole some alcohol from the cupboard and drank that instead.
When I got up, I took loads of tablets out the cupboard, and have stashed them in my room – just in case I need them. I took the dog for a walk and thought of standing in the road, waiting for a car to come around the corner. Some even worse thoughts came into my head... I don’t know where they came from... I can’t even bare to write them.
I felt so low, and I felt so frightened. I’m not me anymore. I don’t even recognise myself. I wonder if I will ever be normal, or ever be sure of what I’m actually feeling. I am still waiting for the day where I wake up and don’t feel that there is the whole world clogging up my head. I want to be free, but I think I am LOST.
